October 22nd – In the offices of Smarm, Smarm, Bignob and Braces, advertising agency for SSE Power:

‘Nigel, it’s a great advert for energy. But it’s lacking a certain gravitas. What it needs is a completely irrelevant, wistful, ennui-laden orang-utan, gazing meaningfully into the distance.’

‘I’ll get right onto it, Gideon’

As is the photoshopped buildings and van weren’t shitty enough. What would the librarian of the Unseen University make of it all?

‘Ook!’ probably.

Both spotted in Darlaston.