Tag: bizarre

#365daysofbiking It’s only flat at the bottom!

Friday November 21st 2020 – One here for Bob’s big book of bizarre mechanical failures – specifically the ‘This is not my circus, and those are most definitely not my monkeys’ chapter.

This is not my bike. I was asked by an old family friend to change their tyres, as they didn’t feel comfortable to do so themselves. ‘No problem!’ I assured them as they wheeled the bike into the garage.

First step, remove rear wheel and let air out of the old tyre. Simple enough. Since the tubes would be too big for the new tyres, I removed the valve for a full deflation – and the telltale green ooze of tyre sealant – slime brand – bubbled out.

This would be no problem, usually, except the local bike shop who originally fitted these tyres made a mistake.

What I found was only half of the tyre went down – the other half opposite the valve state inflated. That I was astounded and somewhat bemused is an understatement.

Never, ever had seen that before, and it took me a few minutes to work out – with the help of a mate by text – to diagnose that the tube had been twisted when fitted, under inflation the pressure had compressed the two twists, and the sealant blocked them creating an effective seal.

Great. But how do you release the trapped air?

I didn’t want to try puncturing it. Friend suggested a sharp tap with a blunt, soft object on the inflated section, or bouncing it off the floor. I grabbed an offcut of 2×2 and rapped the tire sharply.

There was a loud bang, and a volcanic ejaculation of green sealant.

Everywhere.It went everywhere. It’s just possible there’s an object in the workshop that doesn’t have green slime on it somewhere, but as yet I’ve not found one. A total mess. I was dripping.

The areas where the tube had twisted had clearly worn tissue-thin against the tyre, and the tap with the wood was the straw that broke it’s back.There was no patching THAT tube.

I have never seen this before, and probably never will do again, but it was a messy, if perplexing adventure.

That was a blowout on the road waiting to happen, and the bike shop deserve a slap.

Fixing other people’s bikes is never as simple as you think…

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#365daysofbiking Gimme shelter

March 11th – Going to work via a call in Aldridge on a wet day, I sheltered under Northywood Bridge near Stubbers Green.

It gave me an opportunity to study the boats in the yard nearby.

I noted the one closest to me – a handsome, large craft – was loaded with junk. Perhaps someone was clearing it out.

I couldn’t help but wonder if the halloween pumpkin was to ward off evil spirits deliberately, or was just where it happened to land…

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March 26th – I escaped work early, and despite a fearsome wind, headed down to Kings Norton on the train and cycled back up the canal, and through the Sandwell Valley.

At Kings Norton station, this poster and one of the worst photo editing failures I’ve seen in ages.

Just what is going on with the spokes in that wheel, and are images of bicycle wheels so sparse that you have to badly photoshop your own?

March 5th – Never let it be said that I do not consider cycling a broad church; from the moment any of us owns a bike, we make it our own, unique. We confer upon it our patina, our personality and our individual stamp. We personalise, adjust the fit, add our own accoutrements, dial it in until it fits.

The handle bar area – christened by the great Bike Snob of New York blog as The Cockpit, is probably one of the most individual bits of any steed. I have a personal arrangement of controls, add-ons and positions on my rides that is unique, comfy and tried and tested.

However, wandering through Birmingham city centre on a dull  Thursday afternoon, even this easy-going freewheeler found a cockpit that confounded him.

The bars. The brakes. The light pointing at the ground. I’m hoping the owner has swivelled the bars up as a theft prevention technique, but I’m not convinced.

Coo, gosh! As Molesworth might say.

November 8th – What is it with this journal and stray pumpkins? This is the third in as many years, and this one has been carved. 

There I was, cycling around the bend in the canal opposite Tesco in Brownhills, and it was just there, wet and grinning at me.

I felt sorry for the grizzled gourd, so I recorded it for posterity.

Aprill 11th – Before I do the usual ones today, tonight I had a nightmare journey home after a less than wonderful day. A couple of consecutive punctures (with different causes) were bad enough. But then, not far from home (thankfully), I gained another entry for Bob’s Big Book of Bizarre Bicycling Mechanical Failures™ – my non drive side crank sheared at the pedal thread. Clean off.

I have never seen this before. Not once.

It felt bad for a couple of miles – I figured a pedal bearing was going south. It felt odd, eccentric. This prepared me for disaster, so when it happened it didn’t hurt or cause me to fall off, but it could have been quite bad. 

The crank is by Lasco, and has done 10,000 miles. From the dark patch on the break, I’d say it’s been cracked awhile. I’m no small fella and fatigue has clearly worked it’s magic.

Oh well. Time for a new chainset, then…

October 15th – I hadn’t been down Station Street in Darlaston – at least the James Bridge end of it – for a while. What greeted me today was quite a surprise, to say the least. 

Walsall has developed some odd traffic calming and management systems in the last few weeks; traffic engineers have gone mad with the Shellgrip at Rushall, and two streets in The Butts have become one way. Here, the stub end of Station Street – a short cut through to Heath Road – has been blocked to two way traffic at the Heath Road junction. 

This seems bizarre in itself, but they have left a cycling lane open for us two-wheelers, although it’s possibly the most peculiar such arrangement I’ve ever seen.

It’s like an ability-testing obstacle course. I bet whoever laid this out hasn’t ridden a bike for years.

January 6th – I have absolutely no idea what to make of this. Reader and top friend of the Brownhills Blog Rose Burnell had tipped me off the previous day that there was a CV pinned to a board outside the tyre sales place on Co-op  corner in Brownhills. I checked it out, and she was quite right. I’m not sure the sign was thought out enough, but ten out of ten for optimism. 

Sign of the times, or a brave punt for a new job in an increasingly hard world? I’ve no idea, but best of luck, my friend. 

I wish you the very best of luck.